Let’s Talk About Money

First and foremost, I am not a gold digger. I could care less about his money. In fact, If I worked full time, it is possible for me to make more than he does at my current job. Much more if I did overtime. Wait until I become that bad ass nurse. In fact, I hate gifts. I get nervous around birthdays or holidays or when gifts come up in topics. It gives me anxiety and I just don’t like it.

My friend is pregnant and her husband is deployed with my guy. I have to say from my point of view, it is better now that he is gone due to the fact he left his wife in debt. His wife is pregnant, didn’t both to see if Tricare (medical military insurance) was set up for her, and bought alcohol all the time.

I know it’s not my business, but it is the money aspect that she talks to me about that makes me nervous. I’ve had to help a number of times to make sure she can keep the car from being taken because he doesn’t know how to handle the money.

This makes me nervous when I think of my future. Whether it be with my sailor or not. Naturally, I think with my sailor, but while he’s gone, I am starting to think about it alone. I know that in the future, he will be deployed again and again and I will have to deal with the money part of life while he’s gone. It’s a part of life no one likes talking about because it sucks to talk about. No one likes talking about this kind of thing because it is the number one thing that causes divorce.

I love my man, but sometimes I think he is so stupid. We are not married, yet he has given me his bank account once upon a time. To be honest, I forgot it. I don’t need it. When I did see it, I saw debt and it made me nervous and made me want to back out. I don’t want to go into a serious relationship with a person that doesn’t know how to handle money responsibly. Having talked to my man about it, it turned out that he had overspent his money trying to take care of this wife friend of mine and the husband/shipmate of his. The debt was an attempt to help others, but fucking him up. I just hope his credit will be okay. I want to be honest, the whole thing still makes me nervous. I don’t want to be raising adults with a child of their own. I don’t want my boyfriend doing that. My man is 20 years old and doing this while trying to get up himself. It pisses me off because how is he supposed to grow for himself and go far in life if he’s constantly holding other people up. I want him to let them go. My man is smart, he’s smart with money, I know he is. He just needs to choose to be smart with why he spends it.

He’s brought up marriage with me and even though stability is never promised in the military, money can be easier if done responsibly. I like to think I am good with money. I am not in debt and take good care of myself medically and with school. If I am going to marry him someday, I want to feel comfortable in knowing that we won’t be raising them. God, I feel like a bitch for saying it about a friend, but I want to make sure my future is as stable as it can be. I want my future to be with him and I want it to be as stable as possible.

Money complicates everything. Money sucks….. Kinda.

I love him. We agreed to talk about everything money wise before making big decisions.

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