The real truth is, we try to control our for a lot of situations. He’s on deployment. He says he’s fine. He says he’s getting enough sleep. He even says he’s having fun. But for me at least, I always wonder if he’s just telling me that because he knows I’m worrying. I wonder if he tells me to try and give me some comfort. He tells his mom he’s seeing so many things and etc, I know he’s not close to land right now. He just sees water.
I have a great friend that I grew up with who is married to a cranky but funny marine. I love picking on the dude, probably why he’s cranky around me. She knows what it’s like and she and I talk all the time. We share the same worry of the current situation. Personal, I don’t feel comfortable saying that worry, but it is a worry nonetheless. She and I grew up together and mostly through the NJROTC program I’ve mentioned a few times. She was the more badass at it than me but we loved it. She was and is my sister through everything. Back then it was a school program and now it is the common thread of being in a military relationship.
But the scary truth is the answer to many questions… I don’t know. I know that this life comes with many uncertainties and I’ve grown to accept it, but with deployment- it becomes a strong fear. Not an easy one to handle, but one I handle every day and do it well.
After all, I’m writing a blog about this. It’s one way to handle things. It’s basically a journal. Sharing fears, dreams, amusements, laughs, memories and everything in between that would show this life decently.