Not My Place

Death was our first big conversation if you remember or had read my other posts… well, it will be coming up again soon and I am terrified. His great grandma is so close to deaths door and I don’t know what I am supposed to do. As his girl, I know I am here to help him through this and support his family, but it is a hard thing to do. He’s deployed in a completely different part of the world and his family is in a different state. I’m not sure what all my words can do to comfort. I feel that they will mean close to nothing. I love his family and know how crushing this will be. I hate watching already what it does to his mother, I am super close to her. He does not yet how close she is to passing and I am terrified for when he finds out. I want to call the chaplain after it happens to make sure they check up on him, but I don’t want to give him unwanted attention.

I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. I’ve never been in this position before.

His mom updates me often on his great grandmas health and I can tell it is right around the corner if not today. His mom seems so strong, but I can tell she is scared and fights tears a lot. Her husband is really supportive for which I am grateful. Her husband is a good man, but I wish I were there for the family too.

My sailor should know what’s going on completely with his great grandma…. but it’s not my place.

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